You can always count on Gaucho for superb steaks and excellent Malbec, but you have to get the right branch (Covent Garden) and time (after 9pm on Fridays or Saturdays) to be treated to an equally spectacular dance performance at the same time …

Dancers: Emma Lucia Reyes/Carlos Cisneros and Goldie Aurum/Daniel Toloza

Music: Derecho Viejo/Orquesta Tea, Gimme More (Kimme More remix)/Britney Spears, Naughty Girl/Beyoncé

Birthday girl: Tina Leong

Man trying not to crash into either the dancers or the diners: Me