Yeah, I know: Londoners complaining about transport is a bit rich. In truth, the fact that I was able to make these journeys at all is testament to how fortunate we are. But hey, it’s my blog, so you’ll have to humour me for a moment.

Sure, I have plenty of TICD within easy cycling distance, but my idea of tango means heading outside London, and my xmas plans in particular required heading west, young man …