I feel rather like I’m living in the Harry Chapin song All My Life’s a Circle as I repeat the first couple of episodes in my following journey.

From taking a few privates as a follower purely to inform my lead, to the exceedingly ambitious idea of becoming a dual-role dancer, to getting a reality check in this endeavour – and now revisiting my ambition with a different attitude …

The reality check

As anyone who has ever tried it will testify, learning the complementary role means pretty much starting again in tango. In theory, we have a head-start; in practice, it doesn’t much feel that way.

Additionally, following is more technically and physically demanding than leading. Think about the core pivots in tango – ochos and giros – and contrast the degree of dissociation required for the leader with that required for the follower. Sure, leaders who can twist themselves into pretzels can do more impressive versions, but applying the same standard of intermediate competence to each role, followers have to work way harder.

With leading, it took me about nine months to reach the point of feeling like I belonged on the dance floor. But that was nine months of taking 3-4 group classes each week, at least two or three privates a month, many practicas and milongas, solo practice every morning – and pretty much every workshop with an All Levels label ever offered in London!

If I contrast that nine months of frankly obsessional work on leading with the way more laid-back amount of time and effort I’ve so far put into following, there’s simply no comparison. It’s the equivalent of maybe a few weeks tops. So no wonder I feel like I’ve scarcely made any progress.

The opportunity problem

I’ve also struggled to find good opportunities, for both learning and practice.

I’d initially thought group classes would provide that opportunity – specifically at Queer Tango London, where nobody is going to conflate gender with role. However, I rather quickly saw that this really wasn’t going to work.

I’d forgotten the extent to which beginner group classes are all about shortcuts to being able to dance without actually learning to either lead or follow. They use a set of standard figures to teach leaders how to give recognisable cues as to their intent, and teach followers how to spot those and provide the desired response. It’s about aiming to get people to that ‘feeling like they can dance’ point as quickly and painlessly as possible.

For that goal, pairing beginner leaders with beginner followers works well enough. But beginner leaders are of no help whatsoever when it comes to actually learning to follow.

So that left me with privates – which work, but aren’t financially viable as a sole approach – and very occasional practice opportunities at events with dual-role dancers willing to be kind to a total novice.

Even that much wasn’t easy. While there are now quite a few dual-role dancers around, the shortage of leaders at most events meant I felt guilty taking two leaders out of the equation by following at a milonga.

But three things have changed

Guilt

First, enough people gave me a talking to about the guilt issue to remove this from the equation.

It’s not like I don’t pull my weight as a leader. I’ve always been conscious of the ‘social’ in social dancing, and sought to play my part in trying to ensure everyone is having a good time. Following for a few tandas doesn’t change that. Especially at present, when I’m mostly following milonga tandas! I wouldn’t otherwise be leading many of those.

But it’s not even about seeking ‘justification’: dual-role dancers have pointed out that true equality on the dance floor means I have just as much right to follow as they do to lead.

Opportunity

There’s also been progress on the opportunity front. There are a couple of practicas which are (a) typically role-balanced and (b) well stocked with experienced dual-role dancers. Namely, the Sumata practica near Baker Street and the Tango Secrets practica. (I’m aware too of the dual-role practica, but that would be awkward for personal reasons.)

Both being on the same day of the week isn’t ideal, nor are Mondays in general, as that clashes with another regular social event for me. But it’s certainly a lot better than nothing.

Attitude

But the biggest shift is in my attitude.

Previously, I hadn’t really done the sums on the relative work I’d put into leading and following. I just had this vague sense that I’d been intermittently working on learning to follow for about 18 months, and surely by now I ought to be better at it?

But a handful of privates and a bit of practice here and there does not a follower make! I realised that I had a choice to make.

One, take the same approach I did to learning to lead: get obsessional about it. Essentially forget about leading for now, have all my privates, all my practice and all my dancing be done as a follower. Make it a major project, putting in enough time and money and work to create the same kind of learning-curve I did with leading.

Two, relax! Treat it as a long-term project that will take years, and realise there’s absolutely no rush.

Once I saw it in those terms, the answer became obvious. There are multiple reasons that first approach wouldn’t be practical for me today – not least of which is I wouldn’t enjoy it! I may have been hooked on tango from a very early stage, but I would not want to relive all of that work and self-doubt and general tango angst. Once was enough, thank you.

For following, I’m going to treat it as fun. A lighthearted adventure which is about the journey, not the destination.

And that’s the, well, fun thing about fun: it’s all about attitude. The exact same activity can be work or play depending on how you choose to view it. I choose to view following as fun.

At Sheffield, I danced a number of tandas as a follower, warning leaders that pivots were well above my pay-grade for now, and had great fun following steps and rebounds, mostly in milonga tandas. Any mistakes were just cause for laughter.

This approach worked brilliantly! I had fantastic fun, and even managed to follow some traspié steps I’d barely have been able to lead!

Bring on the following fun!