Tango has an astonishing ability to energise. I’d been woken at 4am by a certain chocolate-coloured feline who decided to make a heroically unsuccessful attempt to jump onto the living room window-sill. I was alerted to this fact by the sound of two cacti pots crashing to the floor. (Orange Boy had a solid alibi as he was asleep on my pillow at the time.)

I didn’t get back to sleep, and when Emma arrived for my private some 14 hours later, I was feeling not dissimilar to the cacti. But as soon as we danced the first song, I found myself feeling as lively as a 4am cat …

At the end of April, I’d decided to take another pause in my privates while I figured out my next step.

So much has changed in my dance that the last thing I need is more input. I wouldn’t so much be quenching my thirst as drowning in a deluge!

So for now, I’m just going to relax, enjoy dancing, and resume again as and when I feel ready – and once I’ve figured out whether or not it’s the right time to continue the adventure in following.

My last pause didn’t last long – just six weeks – and this one was almost exactly the same length.

As for following, the Sheffield Tango Festival answered that one: I literally followed for a grand total of one song, and immediately decided to resume work on this. Leading is a highly-addictive drug, and I seem to have reached the point where following is too.

Back to learning to follow

But there was one quick item on the agenda first: I wanted to make sure Emma approved of my new embrace, so I led her for one song. She did. Very much!

There turned out to be yet another bonus from this: I instinctively entered the same embrace as a follower. Emma said it felt wonderful, and I found it made following significantly easier.

I told her that as I’d switched my focus back to leading for my BsAs trip, I hadn’t done much in the way of solo practice for follower pivots. I was aware I needed to do that, so suggested we stick to steps and rebounds for this lesson, and focus the work on my responsiveness as a follower.

Emma gave me quite the challenge here! She was leading lots of interrupted steps, of different sizes, as well as some double-time. Given that I’ve barely gotten my feet wet yet as a double-time leader, this did require my full attention!

Diego had briefed me to be late and slow, and that worked well with his industrial-sized lead and careful pace. But Emma’s lead is more realistic in its signals, and the speed of the interrupted steps meant I found it hard to apply that approach here. I found myself feeling tense as I was worried about missing signals, or not reacting quickly enough. I had to tell myself the same thing I’d told to many other beginner followers: just relax! Don’t worry about missing anything, and let the leader take care of things.

I told Emma I wanted to try an experiment: when in doubt, not moving. That is, if I was unsure of the lead, I would remain where I was. This immediately felt better to me, and Emma confirmed it was the same for her. By relaxing more, and remaining stiller, it was easier to read more subtle signals.

Usually, with privates, there’s a pretty clear pattern:

• I present my current challenge or goal
• The teacher provides guidance
• We try it, and they provide feedback
• I make small improvements in the course of the lesson
• But mostly I reap the dividends later, after plenty of practice

But this lesson was different. Despite the degree of challenge presented, the amount of progress I was making within the course of the lesson itself was really clear. Emma would explain a point, we’d dance a song, and there would be a very significant improvement right away.

Don’t get the wrong idea: I missed plenty of things, and made plenty of mistakes. But I was amazed how much difference I was seeing from one song to the next, and Emma was clearly delighted too! There were quite a few high-fives.

She said that the ideal follower state was to be relaxed, but fully present. As with so much in tango, there’s a paradox to that. On the one hand, grounded and still where I am, moving only when I receive an unambiguous signal to do so. On the other, ready to move in an instant. That … will take a while!

I think tango would be much easier if I were a cat. As would the rest of life, for that matter. That’s definitely my reincarnation plan.

But, as tricky as it was, there were periods of effortless flow; I was making obvious progress; and I was loving it. Following is going to take a lot of work, but I have plenty of incentive: I want more of this drug.

Photo: Daria Durand/Unsplash